Wednesday 29 January 2014

You know what I never wake up loving? Patriarchy.

You know what I never wake up loving? Patriarchy.

Most of the feminist rants I have start off with some brain food. In this case, it was this image.


It's certainly worth thinking about. In my experience, it is true that male feminists are regarded as "better" than female feminists. But why?

I had a few ideas, although I'm pretty sure I barely scratched the surface. Is it because there are fewer male feminists than female, making them a rarity, in the same way that platinum is more valuable than iron, because of the quantities that exist? Is it as the picture implies, that male people are considered more valuable as a rule, so male feminists are regarded higher than female feminists by default? The idea I think might be the most interesting is that because feminism supports equal rights for women, a man supporting it is considered more selfless and thus nicer, because they do not appear to be benefiting from supporting feminist movements.

Likely, it is all three, with many others included. But after some very careful consideration, I decided that whilst the last reason - the idea that men being feminists is selfless - isn't really true.

Whilst the world "patriarchy" implies that we live in a male dominated society, and this is certainly the case, it is certainly not the whole story. We do not live in a society with two clear cut tiers - the female and male tiers. The group of people who benefit from this widespread oppression are actually a lot more niche.

How many gay men do you see in power? These are another group who get quashed down in the same archaic rules that suppress and oppress women. As a general rule these are not the people who benefit from the patriarchy. It is not so much a patriarchy, but a hetero-patriarchy, that glorifies straight men.

In fact, add with that any kind of effeminate man. As long as womanly and feminine are seen as negative things, that will be a bad thing for men with these qualities. If a man is victim to any sort of crime that people associate with occurring to women such as sexual assault, rape or domestic violence, they will be taken less seriously both by courts and by the general public.

The patriarchy helps to promote a gender binary that categorizes displays of emotion as particularly feminine. This can result in men being socially conditioned to have a lack of emotional literacy. If a man does show emotion, they are often read as "unmanly" and as this is an insult, this can lead to communication issues. On top of this, studies have shown that most decision-making is rooted in emotion; but the ability to express the decision-making process often presents a challenge to men who lack this emotional literacy due to the norms imposed by the current gender binary.

A father in court is far less likely to get full custody of a child after a divorce, as the patriarchy gives people the idea that women are mothers, have closer bonds with their children and are more capable as carers. Stay at home dads bear a stigma unlike that of a stay at home mother.

It is the patriarchy that says that men are stupid, and monolithic and unchanging and incapable. It is the patriarchy that says that men are animalistic instincts, and that they just cannot themselves from sexually harassing and assaulting. It's the patriarchy that says that men can only be attracted to certain qualities, can only have particular kinds of responses, can only experience the world in certain, predetermined, narrow-minded ways.

Are non-cis men, transgender people, intersex people benefiting from the patriarchy? No, no and nope.

So, who does this leave, benefiting from the patriarchy? A group of white caucasian, straight, stereo-typically masculine men, who had good - probably private - educations, who are between the ages of 25 and 40 and who came from rich, upper-middle class families. They excelled at maths and economics and politics and they're probably your boss's boss's boss. In other words, not men, but the man.

From the research I've done, and you can probably tell from this horribly rushed post, which used some appalling generalizations, the overwhelming message is that men do not benefit from the patriarchy. It is in their interests to abolish it.

So why are male feminists considered more valuable than female feminists? It couldn't be because in this horribly layered patriarchy, they're on the next tier up, could it?

Bella x



Who the hell am I?

Who the hell am I?

I am literally just another teenager with a blog. Literally. This is the most accurate and least interesting way I can put it. But I figured I should say a little bit more...so...these are some questions compiled by Carrie Hope Fletcher. Altogether, they tell you way too much information about me. Way too much.

What am I wearing?
Saracens Rugby camp tshirt and pink tartan pyjama shorts. And ski socks. Always the pink ski socks.

Ever been in love?
Nope.

Ever had a terrible breakup?
Nope. (God, this is really interesting isn't it? Wow...)

How tall are you?
Five foot three. Or um...160 cm if you are a metric type person.

How much do you weigh?
Woah! Back off! We barely know each other yet! (Just under nine stone, I don't know exactly.)

Any tattoos?
I'm too young to legally get a tattoo, and although for a long time I have toyed around with the idea, I have never decided on one image longer than a day or so - so maybe it isn't for me. Sharpies have really good staying power, you know?

Any piercings?
One lobe piercing in each ear. I would love a lip ring, maybe even snake bites, but my school cares more about dress code than anything, so I guess that's off the agenda.

OTP?
Really? Really? No. (But Spiderman and Mary Jane should so be together, oh my god!)

Favourite TV show?
Hands down, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's amazing, especially series 6. But the show I watch the most is Big Bang Theory because Buffy secretly freaks out my siblings a little bit...

Favourite band?
My Chemical Romance.

Something I miss?
My funny little hamster Pepper.

Favourite Song?
Can I choose a whole rock opera if it was sold in a song? Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day then. We're sorted. Otherwise, Wasting Time by Blink-182, Blue Collar Jane by Strypes, or The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You by My Chemical Romance.

How old am I?
I am fourteen going on fifteen (la la la la la la). You know, typing song lyrics like lalala just doesn't have the same effect, does it?

Zodiac sign?
Does anyone actually care? I'm on the cusp of Gemini and Taurus, so I get to read my horoscope in the Metro in the morning and choose whichever one says I'm going to have a fabulous day.

Quality I look for in a partner?
They have to be nice. We have to be friends. None of the whole relationships are separate from friends melarkey. If we're not mates I will not date you. Is that a quality?

Favourite quote?
To err is human, to arr is pirate. God, all the other people who answer these questions are so deep. And then there was me. If you want deep, I can do deep. "I shall slip unnoticed through the darkness... like a dark, unnoticeable slippy thing." I really can't do deep can I?

Favourite actor?
Michael Cera is amazing, but I also think that Emily Browning is absolutely incredible in everything she's in. James Marsters (I said I was a Buffy fan.) In terms of stage actors, I have always nursed a little soft spot for Jon Robyns.

Favourite colour?
Red. Like my soul. (This sounded better when my favourite colour was black, but let it slide so I feel happy.)

Loud music or soft?
LOUD MUSIC OH MY GOD LOUD MUSIC AHHHH!

Where do I go when I am sad?
I don't cope very well with sadness on my own. I tend to just feel internally sad and stay where I am. It makes more sense to be around people, because then if you do break down there are friends around to talk you through life.

How long does it take me to shower?
What kind of a creepy question is that? I can whip in and out of the shower in ten minutes maximum, but of course I like to stand under the hot water and just feel all warm and lovely and happy and toasty...

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
Half an hour for school. Forty five minutes if I am going out to see friends. If I'm washing my hair, add the ten minutes in the shower and we're sorted.

Ever been in a physical fight?
Does rugby count? I have a load of awesome rugby battle scars, but I'm pretty sure sanctioned sports don't count. It's not even fighting. Other than that no. I am a pacifist, but not a doormat.

Turn on?
If they are musical, they're awesome. That doesn't even mean they have to play a musical instrument, it could just mean they have an appreciation for music. Although if they do play a musical instrument then I'm not complaining...

Turn off?
If you are racist, sexist, homophobic et cetera, then I'm not sure we can be friends. I definitely do not want to date you.

The reason I have joined Blogger?
I wanted to write things down and have a medium to show people. I was kind of sick of the monotony of my life and I wanted to try and break things up. I was really bored. But mostly so I could talk about the things that interested me.

Fears?
Heights, clowns and on a deeper note, a loved one dying. Especially if they die at the hands of a clown whilst up a ladder...*shudders*

Last thing that made me cry?
Whenever I rewatch Les Miserables, the DVD, and Enjolras dies I bawl out my heart until my eyes kind of resemble Marilyn Manson's.

Last time I said I loved someone?
Yesterday, to my friend Claire in trampolining. It really, really annoys her, so I partly tell her I love her a lot to tease her, but also because I just have a lot of feelings. (She doesn't even go here!)

Meaning behind my Blogger name?
Knilly Frickers literally just made me happy. Bella Fern is my first name and my middle name.

Last book I read?
The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson.

Book you're currently reading?
Fever Crumb by Philip Reeve.

Last show I watched?
If you're talking TV show, then it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Series 3, Consequences. If you're talking theatre show, then it was Matilda with my family and I sobbed through most of it - it was so sad! But very good, I was so impressed and it made me want to be better at singing and dancing and acting.

Last person I talked to?
My mum, if her yelling "Get up!" into my room counts. If it doesn't I would say it was my parents yesterday telling me to go to bed.

The relationship between me and the last person I texted?
A member of my ex-rugby team. Friend, I suppose.

Favourite food?
I'm going through a lot of pizza love at the moment, but if I could choose two then I would almost definitely put the grape flavoured Nerds in second.

Place I want to visit?
Japan, or more specifically Tokyo. My friend moved there, which was sad, but also because I am such a little manga and anime fan and I want to learn more about the culture.

Last place I was?
My bed.

Do I have a crush?
I don't think I have a crush in real life at the moment, but if we start talking boys in bands who live in the USA so I would never even see them, let alone anything else, then yes. Many.

Last time I kissed someone?
Probably my parents, last night, "goodnight".

Last time I was insulted?
I feel really happy that I can't remember the last time anyone insulted me to my face. Probably around Christmas, by an old guy in a tiger onesie.

Favourite flavour of sweet?
Coca cola is always a favourite. But if I had to choose one, forever, then raspberry. All that blue raspberry love.

What instruments do I play?
Well...um...I used to play piano. I now sing at a Grade 5 level, and I am doing GCSE music but for someone that listens so much to music, I am not particularly talented at the musical stuffs...I suppose I also play the ukulele (very badly) and the harmonica (decently, I'd say.) If I wanted to pad out this rather short list then I might add triangle, the spoons and maracas. 

Favourite piece of jewelry?
I am not really a massive jewelry person - I have a necklace that looks like it has a bottle of poison that I think is pretty awesome. I have some silly novelty Tintin aeroplane earrings, but my favourite piece would probably be my ghost earings, that have ghosts that have piercings and punk hairstyles. I always wear a load of badges on my bag, which I love. Does that count?

Last sport I played?
Dodgeball. I am quite good at dodgeball, oddly enough - given my horrible coordination skills. It seems years of ducking balls in netball so I wouldn't have to catch them has made my job a lot easier in dodgeball.

Last song I sang?
Properly, like in front of people? The Cave, by Mumford and Sons. My school's folk club singer left last year so I was roped in at the last minute, although the only folk I listen to is The Pogues. The last song I sang, period was "The Drug in Me is You," by Falling in Reverse. And I got it stuck in my best friend's head, although she doesn't even know the song.

Favourite chat up line?
Are you a beaver? Because DAM! (On a related note, about a year ago, my friend was dared to go up to a boy she didn't know and use a chat up line on him on the train. She walked up the boy and said *If you were a potato, you'd be a good potato* and walked away. How awesome is that?)

Have I ever used it?
No. I wait for the moment though. One day, one day...

Last time I hung out with someone?
I just got back from a train journey with two friends, so about half an hour ago.

I guess you know me a little better now? No, you just know a load of rubbish about me now that means that you can steal my identity, should you wish to impersonate me. Never mind. Hey ho. Ho hey...I'll see you around.

Bella xx