Tuesday 22 April 2014

Fictional Bands I Wish Were Real

And *coughcough* Cute Fictional Band Members...

If you've hung around on this blog for a while - if so, hey ;) How are you doing? - then you probably know about my obsession for music, in particular bands. I also love reading books and watching television shows with bands in (I'm living the dream in my head because no one in my friendship group likes the same music as me) and it's always really annoying when you discover that they aren't actually real. So here is a list of fictional bands I wish were real, and the reasons why.

Where's Fluffy, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
If you're particularly careful at reading this blog, you might have noticed that - well, I've brought up the book/ very inferior but still enjoyable film "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" a few times. Namely here in which I discuss the playlist of the film briefly, and this one in which I did a short review. In the film, the characters are on a soul quest to find the elusive indie band, Where's Fluffy, but in the book the characters actually get to see the band play, (they're a punk band in the book) and we learn quite a bit about them. With songs like "Take Me Back, Bitch" and "You've Got That Just Fucked Look Yoko", they were named for "the fucking apathy of a xenophobic fucking nation oblivious to the fucking terror its leaders wreak on the rest of the world because they're too busy worrying if their cat might be stuck up a tree or something." Apparently they can actually "play instead of wail like fucking pop-punk goof offs." And they open their shows "pro-NRA, anti-choice, homophobic - to remind their listeners what's worth fighting for." They advertise their shows by scrawling graffiti in toilet stalls. I'm sorry, but tell me that you don't want them to exist. I dare you!

Sex Bob-Omb, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
Technically, this fictional indie rock band recorded some songs as part of the film based on the graphic novels, but that doesn't stop me wishing they actually existed. With a great semi-nerdy name like "Sex Bob-Omb", a badass female drummer Kim Pine, Scott Pilgrim on bass, Young Neil (as biggest fan and understudy bass), and Stephen Stills - vocals and guitar; I can totally see why Knives loves them. Who cares if we know from the novels that they are "average" and that Ramona, Wallace and Julie hate them. My love for this band has (cough) nothing (cough) with my out of control crush on both Scott and Young Neil. No sir. With songs like LaunchPad McQuack, Erasmus the Enchanter and Herself the Elf, I can completely sold! They have to exist! In volume three, Kim says "We are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!!" and as a bit of an emo, to be honest, this is sometimes just what I want in a band.

Dingoes Ate My Baby, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The music of Dingoes Ate My Baby was actually composed and performed by real life band, Four Star Mary; but the songs are mostly backing - we don't see that much of the band. I don't see why though, because what we do hear of the rock back is great, and with a logo and name as snazzy as theirs is, I don't see why they can't come to my hometown, and um, live there. If they weren't fictional, of course. And yes, I know they broke up because Oz left to go be a werewolf elsewhere, and I know that the only formal review they got wasn't great - but Willow loved them and I completely trust her judgement. I also think that Oz was one of the best characters - "I mock you with my monkey pants" and he knew a lot about amps, so he must have been good at bass, right?

Big Fun, Heathers
Sure, it was all a ploy for JD to mass murder everyone in school. But hey, they have a good name, and the song "Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It," well the title at least shares good messages right? Okay, I lied, maybe I don't wish this one was real...

The Weird Sisters, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
With songs like "Do the Hippogriff" and "Magic Works" (no shit, Sherlock), these guys were good enough that Dumbledore hired them, and I like to imagine that Dumbledore had pretty awesome taste in music. Right? Right. Among the band's instruments were a set of drums, several guitars, a cello, a lute, a double bass and some bag pipes. When performing in Hogwarts during the Yule Ball, they performed on a magically-appearing stage, which, puh-lease, I totally need that kind of the technology. They were all very hairy, apparently and wore "artfully torn" black robes - which makes them sound all kinds of awesome. To be honest, I was sold when I learnt that they played the bag pipes and the lute. Who doesn't want a sassy band like that?

Dr Teeth and The Electric Mayhem, The Muppets
God, I love The Muppets. This band debuted in The Muppets: Sex and Violence, and that pretty much sums up just how edgy this band - the band with the world's best band name - really is, despite the furriness of the players. With Dr Teeth on keyboard and lead vocals, Animal on drums (god, I love you Animal!), Sgt Floyd Pepper - the original hipster - on bass, the sexy sexy Janice on lead guitar, Zoot on saxophone and occasionally Lips playing the trumpet, this is one band I completely want to get in on. There's a reason "Muppets Treasure Island" may well be my favourite film, and it is largely due to these players.

I suppose I'll just have to continue loving these bands in my imagination...*wipes away a solitary tear*

See you later

Bella






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