Being a teenager, the oh-so-condescending phrase "It's Just a Phase" is commonplace. Whatever a teenager does, and however they do it, it is open to being called a phase, as if that somehow demerits its value. I've heard a lot - everything from my most hardcore political beliefs to my sexuality to my choice in haircut has been deemed a phase by adults who give you that smile that proclaims "I know better."
It's difficult to say that people are wrong to say this, because, guess what? Chances are they're right! Being a teenager is a time for transitions, a time for wrong decisions, a time for wearing massive rainbow faux fur jackets and a time for phases. The phrase? That's totally accurate.
It's not the actual words, "It's just a phase" that are so hurtful, it's the condescending manner in which they are invariably delivered. The manner makes the otherwise truthful words turn evil, choking you inside. Because that "phase"? It's everything you are, right now.
If a person is defined by their experiences, then you become a different person every millisecond, because every millisecond you have been exposed to something new - even if that is just looking at your computer screen from a slightly different angle. You have never felt the same things, both emotionally and physically in conjunction with each other as you do right now, and you never will again. But no one denies that humans are people, despite the fact that we are only that person for the shortest period of time.
And so to deny the feelings you feel right now, the pastimes you engage in now, the people you are attracted to now, purely on the basis that in a month's time, a year's time you might not feel the same way is complete and utter bullshit.
If I were an evil axe wielding murderer (I'm not, it was like, totally just a phase I went through), and I took a man and murdered the people he loved before his eyes, and then killed him, nobody would deny that he felt grief before he died. The fact that that emotion was short lived does not lessen it's potency.
So, what now? Instead of dismissing someone's feelings because chances are, it is only a phase, instead of focusing your attentions on a person who does not exist yet and who may never exist - instead of that, focus on the person in front of you. The person who likes doing the things he or she like now. Who she has been, who he will become do not matter.
Live in the moment, baby. And don't be condescending assholes.
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